Monday, September 30, 2013


"Here he comes to save the day!  Thank goodness Supercook is on his way!"

This whole summer was so off kilter.  Menu planning went straight out the window.  We were on the road so much that we ate out a lot, then when Daddy died people brought so much food that we didn't cook at all for two weeks (in fact, my sister sent me home with so much food that I still didn't cook for days after coming back).

But it's time to get back on track.  Today I've been clearing kitchen counters and doing a rough inventory of the pantry, fridge, and freezer.  We have a surprising amount of food that does not go together.  :/   So it was a huge relief to have found Supercook.  You select ingredients you have from the list provided or enter them manually, and it offers a list of recipes you can make with them.

It's a pretty bare-bones operation but it functions smoothly, and I didn't have to sign up to use it.  There was no FAQ but it looks like if you do sign up, you can store recipes and create shopping lists.

Tonight, based on the ingredients I told it I have, our dinner will consist of Salisbury steaks with mushroom sauce, mashed potatoes, and a tomato and cucumber salad.  I'll just repeat this process over and over until I've gone thru all the food storage areas and can regroup with my usual menu planning.

Oh, remind me in a few days to tell you about the cool food storage thing Ella and I did last week.  We even won a prize for it!

Friday, September 27, 2013

How I let my ego get in the way of enlightenment

The day after Ella turned 10 (which I'll tell you about some other time--it was cool), she and I started taking morning yoga classes at the YMCA.  The very first morning, as I was getting dressed for class, I thought to myself, "Wearing pants first thing in the morning, every morning, is what will doom me to giving up yoga."

See, dresses and skirts are my thing.  Always have been.  I'm not a pants girl.  I'm just not.

For almost two weeks I've been "venting" on Facebook about my plight and strategizing how I'm going to create a skirt that will defy the laws of physics and allow me to pursue inner peace without compromising my admittedly minimal standards of modesty and femininity.

It was getting kind of silly--but fun--my friends were apparently deeply invested in how this would turn out. Finally my cherished friend and yoga expert Christie posted on my Facebook wall, "Just buy a pair on these."

"Hey, those pants are kind of cute.  If they make that model's size 4 behind look good,
they will surely make my size 12 behind look that good too!"

And maybe it was the logo or maybe it was the company name, but she had planted a seed and I didn't know it.

Because yesterday, while standing on my yoga mat in class, staring at myself in the mirror and negatively judging my outer beauty, the yoga started kicking in and it hit me:  I have wasted two full weeks of precious emotional energy being bothered by something completely benign.  They're just PANTS.   I've let my personal identity distract me from practicing the detachment that would prevent PANTS from being an issue.

SO--I'm letting it go.  I'm going to make myself a few pairs of cute pants, and maybe a couple of funky tunics, and I'm going to go to yoga and accept that while I'm there, I'm not a "dress" girl or a "pants" girl, I'm just a human doing my best and trying to let that permeate the rest of my day.

There.  Enlightenment achieved.  For now.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Things Nobody Tells You About Grief


There hasn't been much to say, except that it was hard.  But today an article on Lifehacker titled "The Things Nobody Tells You About Grief" caught my eye, and especially the second item on the list about dealing with someone who is grieving:  "Understand you’re now dealing with a muddled mind."

This has been very true for me, and has caused me revisit some of my precious values and principles with a more lenient eye.  

I'm not cooking anything from scratch right now.  No original recipes.  We're eating a rotation of 7-10 meals and they are all something I can put together without thinking about it.

I'm not making up new designs to sew or knit or craft.  No original patterns.  I'm working with kits, or following instructions, or taking classes where someone else figures out what to work on and what materials are needed and provides them. 

I'm not challenging myself to do more or better.  I'm "challenging" myself to do just enough, to do it well enough, and to let go of expectations or judgments.  

Because one thing I've learned from this summer of losing my daddy bit by bit is that ain't nobody got time for expectations or judgments.

PS--I'm ok.  Or I'm in denial, but that's ok too.  No expectations, no judgments.  That's just where I am right now.  So don't worry.  But thank you for your concern because it helps.