Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Things Nobody Tells You About Grief


There hasn't been much to say, except that it was hard.  But today an article on Lifehacker titled "The Things Nobody Tells You About Grief" caught my eye, and especially the second item on the list about dealing with someone who is grieving:  "Understand you’re now dealing with a muddled mind."

This has been very true for me, and has caused me revisit some of my precious values and principles with a more lenient eye.  

I'm not cooking anything from scratch right now.  No original recipes.  We're eating a rotation of 7-10 meals and they are all something I can put together without thinking about it.

I'm not making up new designs to sew or knit or craft.  No original patterns.  I'm working with kits, or following instructions, or taking classes where someone else figures out what to work on and what materials are needed and provides them. 

I'm not challenging myself to do more or better.  I'm "challenging" myself to do just enough, to do it well enough, and to let go of expectations or judgments.  

Because one thing I've learned from this summer of losing my daddy bit by bit is that ain't nobody got time for expectations or judgments.

PS--I'm ok.  Or I'm in denial, but that's ok too.  No expectations, no judgments.  That's just where I am right now.  So don't worry.  But thank you for your concern because it helps.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss. I love you and a holding you all in my heart.

  2. After my Dad passed away, all I felt like doing was simultaneousy watch TV and play the Sims 2. No thinking. I did not want to have any thoughts. I had to take care of mom, but that's all I did. I didn't cook much, clean much or do any reading or any of my normal activiites. My family had to pitch in and fortunately, my kids were big enough to be a big help. Eventually you will become functional again, in your own good time. It takes as long as it needs to take. (((hugs))))