Wednesday, October 29, 2014

A Handmade Goddess, Part 3: The Reveal

When you make a goddess by hand, there is a lot more gold glitter spray paint involved than I had imagined.

There is the shield.  And the helmet

And the sandals.

This might or might not have been the first time I've ever spray painted my footwear shiny gold.

And the pumpkin.

Tape over the features, spray prime, spray paint, peel tape before paint dries so the paint doesn't peel too.

But thankfully there are distribution centers all across America where you can just waltz in and hand them some money and in exchange they will let you leave with some shiny gold fabric.

Lightweight charmeuse.  Don't use lamé, unless you just want to hate making the costume.

When you get home with your shiny gold fabric, do this:

Despite what half the interweb wants you to believe, this is not a chiton.  This is a peplos, from whence we have received both the word and the thing called "peplum."  To which my only response is a sarcastic, "Thanks for the peplums, Greeks."

If the back side of your shiny gold fabric is less shiny than the front - it happens - you will need to lop off the top section and sew it back on so that when it folds down, it reveals the proper degree of gold shininess.

It may not matter to you, but to a goddess it matters.

Pin on the peplos with some shiny gold buttons, and wrap a shiny gold cord around your waist. Put on your glittering gold helmet, and your glittering gold shoes, and a pair of shiny gold eyelashes that are longer than your eyes are wide.

Then pick up your sparkly gold shield, and your sparkly gold pumpkin, carefully examine the picture that inspired all the sparkling shiny goldness, and when you are satisfied that you are an identical match to the original, sally forth and declare in your most authoritative 11-year-old voice,

"I am the great Athena,
warrior goddess of Greece,
daughter of Zeus,
holder of Nike,
and Medusa's head."

This is a real thing, y'all.  Right here in Nashville.


See?  I told you.  The great goddess Athena.  Holder of a pumpkin-headed Nike, and Medusa's head represented in the abstract by the raised center of the shield, because ain't nobody got time for an authentic snake-headed lady.

Ah, what glorious times we live in, when a goddess can just stumble across a labyrinth at the Halloween carnival.

Goddess in a bouncy house means accouterments on the ground.

NOTE:  no gorgons were harmed in the making of this costume.

Tomorrow:  a last-minute costume for the mama of a goddess.

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